In this post, author Jilanne Hoffmann takes us through the submission process for THE OCEAN’S HEART: THE TINY CREATURES ESSENTIAL TO LIFE and the question of what she was willing to change to get this book published.
GIVEAWAY! For a chance to win a copy of THE OCEAN’S HEART, leave a comment below after the post.
Congratulations to Christy Clark, the winner of EMILY SAW A DOOR from Mel Rosenberg!
What Are You Willing to Change?
by Jilanne Hoffmann
I’m not sure why, but I tend to inhabit the “thing” I’m writing about and then choose to tell the story from a first POV. Maybe it’s because these “things” I’ve researched become a part of me. I love it. But sometimes (well, maybe often) editors feel differently.
During the drafting and revision phase of THE OCEAN’S HEART, I found myself bouncing between the voice of zooplankton and the voice of the ocean. After much deliberation, I decided the narration worked better from the ocean’s perspective. It seemed right for Mama Ocean to relate the perils faced by these tiny creatures who are her heart.
SUBMISSION ROUND 1
I was pleased that most editors in this round were unperturbed by my POV choice. Instead, the manuscript suffered from a Catch-22. The problem I was trying to rectify by having the story published, making zooplankton worthy of the same love as dolphins and whales, kept it from being picked up.
Editors said that the writing was lovely, but there was too much back matter or that the topic was too niche, and they couldn’t figure out a way for it to break out in the market. In other words, they didn’t see a universal appeal.
Lori Steel, my agent, had already tasked me with cutting the back matter down from 7,500 words to 2,500 before the first round. Ha! I’m such a sucker for backmatter. But I took a scalpel to it again, taking it down to 1,250 words and making what was left feel more kid-friendly. I kept the ocean’s POV.
SUBMISSION ROUND 2
This time, some editors balked at the first POV. Pass! Ugh! Another said that she loved the voice, but didn’t have a vision for how to bring it to market, even though she’d looked through their backlist for a guide. Pass! A couple of others mentioned that they were already doing an ocean-themed book (that I’m now seeing coming out this year). Another said that while it was beautifully written and fascinating, something was holding her back. Pass!
Well. Hm. What to do? I’d won a critique from a prominent nonfiction author I respected immensely, so I sent the manuscript to her. She thought I should eliminate the “cantilevered” structure of the poetic narrative, stop using present participles, and write the story in prose. She also suggested removing some of the language that, to her, felt a little off.
I pondered.
If I wrote it in prose and removed the present participles, it would no longer reflect the ceaseless movement of the ocean and these marathon swimmers. So I didn’t follow that particular piece of advice, but I did tweak some of the language.
SUBMISSION ROUND 3
Fingers crossed, Lori sent out the manuscript again. One of the editors in this round was Carol Hinz. As she and Lori talked about the story, Carol mentioned the challenge of illustrating something that happens in total darkness. She wasn’t sure she had a vision for how it would work and wanted to think about it. But she also added that she’d just acquired a couple of other books that were written from an unusual 1st POV, and thought that pushing another through the acquisition process might be tough. Would I be willing to change it to third POV?
One of my critique partners, Katy Tanis, an author-illustrator, had already lived through many revision rounds of this story, and thought there were plenty of illustration options that could be pursued. So she pulled together an “inspiration board.”
The common format for author-only submissions includes just text, with the addition of art notes only as necessary. That’s how Lori had submitted THE OCEAN’S HEART. But after Carol expressed this reservation, I asked Lori to send Carol a copy of Katy’s inspiration board.
AND I immediately revised the narrative into third POV. It was more important for me to get this story out into the world, than it was for me to hold on to a specific POV. Between my revision and Katy’s inspiration board, Carol decided to take the book to acquisitions….and it passed!
And now I can hold this book, filled with Khoa’s glorious illustrations, in my hands. THE OCEAN’S HEART has received a starred review from Kirkus and Booklist, so the team’s vision is being recognized! Yay!
Folks, stick to what’s important to you, and be flexible about the rest.
It only takes one yes!
Don’t forget to leave a comment below for a chance to win a copy of this gorgeous book, THE OCEAN’S HEART: THE TINY CREATURES ESSENTIAL TO LIFE! (US addresses only, winner announced 3/27/26)
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Jilanne Hoffmann’s picture book, The Ocean’s Heart: The Tiny Creatures Essential to Life, was deemed a “shimmering tale of interdependence and survival” in a starred review from Kirkus and just received a starred review from Booklist. Her picture book, A River of Dust: The Life-Giving Link Between North Africa and the Amazon, was a Junior Library Guild Gold selection, a Crystal Kite recipient, and named an ALA Notable, Bank Street Best, and Garden State Children’s Book Award List title. It also received the Louis J. Battan Author Award (K-12) from the American Meteorological Society. HeartLand, her middle grade historical/contemporary novel in verse/prose, is forthcoming from Little Brown in July 2026. Jilanne lives in San Francisco with her family. You can visit her website here.
Beth Anderson, Children's Writer 